The first time I bought a piece of taxidermy, I was 19 and definitely not mature enough to own preserved wildlife. It was a pheasant, or at least it used to be. The thing looked like it had opinions about my life choices. Anyway, it sat on my dorm desk for three months until my roommate (shoutout to Kyle—he’s a CPA now) demanded I find it a new home.
Fast forward a decade, and here I am: fully grown, marginally wiser, and still falling down internet rabbit holes looking for taxidermy for sale. If you’ve ever wondered how to buy, sell, or—heaven help you—collect taxidermy mounts, you’re in the right place. Buckle up.
What Even Is Taxidermy? (And Why Does It Haunt My Dreams?)
Taxidermy, in case you missed the Discovery Channel phase we all had in 2007, is the process of preserving animals for display. Hunters, museums, and eccentric interior designers love the stuff.
But taxidermy isn’t just deer heads anymore. These days, you can find taxidermy for sale featuring squirrels in wedding dresses, raccoons holding pool cues, and birds staged like they’re starring in a Wes Anderson film. Not my thing (okay, maybe a little), but hey, you do you.
Where To Find Taxidermy for Sale Without Accidentally Committing a Crime
I learned the hard way (don’t ask). Not all taxidermy for sale is, uh, legally sourced. Some critters come with a side order of legal baggage.
That said, there are legit places to find your next mounted masterpiece.
- TaxidermyHub.com: Sorta the Amazon of dead animals, minus the Prime shipping. Great selection of taxidermy mounts for sale, though.
- eBay & Etsy: You’d be shocked how many people browse these while drunk. Be the person who buys a mounted badger at 2 AM. Live your dream.
- Local Estate Sales: Old hunters = attic goldmines. If you see a sign that says “Estate Sale: Ted’s House,” go. Trust me.
- Weird Facebook Groups: They exist. They’re chaotic. They’re beautiful. Bring snacks.
What Makes Taxidermy Expensive (Or Cheap Enough to Make You Suspicious)?
Some taxidermy for sale costs less than a gas station burrito. Other mounts will have you considering a second mortgage. Here’s why:
- Species Matters: A basic whitetail? Common and affordable. A legally-sourced African lion? That’ll cost you more than my first car (RIP, Honda Civic).
- Size & Pose Drama: A standing fox, mid-scream? Art. A bear casually chilling like it’s about to ask for a beer? More expensive than the “standing there” kind.
- Condition Issues: Moths love taxidermy. If the listing says “gently nibbled,” maybe pass.
- Craftsmanship Flex: Good taxidermists are half sculptor, half wizard. Their work deserves every penny.
Speaking of Good Taxidermists…How Do They Even Do This?
I once tried to mount a fish I caught. It ended badly for everyone involved (including the fish). Professional taxidermists, though? Absolute sorcerers.
- Skinning Without Screaming: They peel the hide off like they’re unzipping a jacket. A horrifying, fleshy jacket.
- Form Sculpting: Underneath that majestic elk is a foam mannequin shaped like…an elk. It’s like Build-A-Bear for psychopaths.
- Eye Magic: Good eyes = good mount. Bad eyes = nightmare fuel. Shoutout to Pete’s Hardware on 5th Ave, whose glass eye section is next to the garden gnomes.
- Detail Obsession: Fur, feathers, scales—all meticulously brushed and placed. My hair should look so good.
Is This Even Legal? (Or Am I Going to Taxidermy Jail?)
Short answer: Maybe.
Longer answer: Wildlife laws are a mess. Some species are cool to buy, sell, and mount. Others? The government cares a lot.
- Endangered Species = Nope: No matter how rad a mounted bald eagle would look in your garage, it’s wildly illegal. Don’t.
- CITES Paperwork = Lifesaver: If someone offers you a tiger mount with no papers, run.
- State-by-State Chaos: In Texas, you can probably buy a mounted armadillo at the gas station. In California? You might need permits for a mounted squirrel.
Caring for Your Dead Friends
Once you’ve scored your perfect taxidermy mounts for sale, you actually have to…take care of them.
- No Sunbathing: UV rays fade fur faster than my dignity after karaoke night.
- Bug Patrol: Dermestid beetles eat taxidermy like I eat gas station taquitos—aggressively.
- Gentle Dusting: Soft brush, no spray cleaner. Ask me how I know.
- Humidity = The Enemy: If your mount gets that “damp basement” smell, congratulations, you now own a moldy coyote.
Why Buy Taxidermy Anyway?
I’ll tell you why I do.
- Conversation Starter: Nothing says “I’m interesting” like a mounted raccoon in sunglasses.
- History You Can Touch: That vintage moose? It’s older than your grandma’s potato salad recipe.
- Weird, Personal Joy: My deer mount, Gary, silently judges me from above my desk. It’s comforting.
Plus, taxidermy for sale isn’t just for hunters anymore. Museums use it for education. Artists use it for weirdness. Designers use it for that “rustic serial killer chic” vibe.
Pro Tips From A Guy Who Learned The Hard Way
- Smell Before You Buy: If it smells like a wet dog that died, hard pass.
- Ask For The Story: Every mount has a backstory. Sometimes it’s heartwarming. Sometimes it involves tequila and bad decisions.
- Budget For Repairs: Vintage taxidermy is like a 1967 Mustang—beautiful, but needy.
Weird Fact To Close This Out
Victorian ladies believed that talking to ferns kept them sane. Personally, I talk to Gary the Deer when I’m stressed. Same concept. If he ever talks back, I’ll let you know.
Last Thought Before I Forget
There’s something oddly comforting about owning a piece of nature, even if it’s been professionally preserved and now lives on your bookshelf. Whether you want taxidermy mounts for sale because you love hunting, history, or just want your friends to ask “what the hell is that?”, the world of taxidermy for sale is wide open.
Just, y’know. Maybe skip the eBay listings that ship from unmarked P.O. boxes in Belarus. Trust me on that one.
As cited in ‘Garden Mishaps & Miracles’ (1998), page 42, right after the chapter on accidental compost explosions.
